Late Night chatter

Hmmm so i got a b in poli sci (grrr) but its ok. 3.75 is still ok, and i can still grad wit a 3.95 which is muy bein.

So there is this girl that I met who is mad cool, and im kinda diggin her. only thing is...i have no wheels lol. But i think i can work somethin out. Hopefully we can chill soon, cuz shes mad cute , and super chill

So I start trig tomorrow, and i have mixed feeling. I'm excited, but i kinda wanna just chill at home.

I'm sitting here waiting for my laundry to get done so i can toss it in the freakin dryer.

Basketballz are expensive!!!!!!! (had to buy one 2day)

I'm makin this short cuz im kinda tired...kinda hoping "someone" logs on lol




One Love,

Mr. Someday

OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Small Business Management & Entreprenuership - A

Creative Writing - A

Music Appreciation - A

Waiting for poli sci!!! omg im so close!!!!!!!

Finals own my life at the moment

Ugh sorry I aint be on in a min, but finals got me goin crazy ill be back to my daily/weekly posts real real soon -crossing my heart- lol

One Love,

Mr. Someday

So yesterday......

In CW class everyone critiqued my manuscript. I was kind of nervous, not about the poetry, I was a bit shakey on the short story. But everyone said it was a page turner. Which made us both relieved and happy. Only really negative thing was that I had no setting and i didn't give much exposition in the pshycic. But I knew from the git-go that was guna be an issue, I just wanted to get the concept on paper and work on the filler stuff later (just a little background on the story, There is this guy who meets this physicic lady at a fair, she says he's guna meet death by fire, he's go paranoid, and ends up having to choose between saving his best freind from a burning plane and risking his life or watching his best friend die in front of his eyes) it aint so bad, just gotta add a bit more. But anyways its 1. guna grab sum lunch and then head over to the center. Can't wait to see the kiddos.

One Love,

Mr. Someday

Welcome Back Self

Ok, so my bro-in-law lent me a loaner comp until mine gets fixed. So I'm finally back online. :)!!!!!!

My comp is busted

I'll start posting again soon.....(sigh)

North Cal College Tour

But anyways, The last 3 days have been amazing. I took a college tour with lbcc and got to see UC Berkeley, San Francisco State, Stanford, and UC Santa Cruz.

UC Berkeley

This campus was awesome, there were tons of people. And I love the metropolitan feel to it. And of course the liberalism lol. Me and Donald (one of my new friends from the trip), hiked up the Haas 'school of business since we're both buis majors and the place was top notch. They had just remodeled the whole building so it looks brand new. We went down to the buis library and I swear there must have been 60 people down there and all I could here is the sound of my own breathe. It quiter than outer space. Everyone is all about gettin their shit done. No bullshit. And I love that. The city life is also amazing to, we went down down to fisherman's wharf and had a great time. We went to this place called Boudin which is like this resturaunt the make soudough bread, and they have all kinds of creations like teddy bears, sea turtules, really crazt cool stuff. Bottomline Berkeley is going to be my home!!!!

Stanford

This place honestly looks like something out of a story book. The buildings all lok brand new and the architecture is all breath-taking. It's quiet there, but I liked it. It had a certain air of prestige and legacy that I simply cannot put into words. And plus their fin aid program is the best in the world. If ur fam makes under 100k, you get free tution, if ur fam makes under 60k (grin) you get an automatic full ride for all your undergraduate years. Stanford is my official #2, and I'm definetely apllying.

San Francisco State:

Its basically like lbxcc but twice the size...... Don't get me wrong, I love my school with all my heart, but when I transfer I want to go somewhere different.

UC Santa Cruz

Hands down!!!!! The most beatuiful display of natural scenary I haave ever scene. If I had to pick a place that I felt most closely resembled the Garden of Eden. This would be it.

All in all, this was an AMAZING trip saw some awesome schools, met alot of cool new peeps, and played laser tag till the wee hours of the night. I f***ing love college!!!!!!

So sunday I tried to write a sonnet

Wrote this for CW class.......

My love, these tears do run for you this day
For I have lost your soul and found a grave
The blue has died with you, now the sky is grey
The Moon is king and now the sun its slave

The grass grows tall with water from my eyes
As I grow weak with mourning and despair
I wish that from your slumber you could rise
For taking you this soon just is not fair

But though you've died and left me here to weep
I know that soon I'll see your shining face
One day I too will fall deep into sleep
And be united with your warm embrace

So even though your life sets with the sun
I bless the day we both again are one

God Bless the Underdog

God Bless the Underdog
God bless the man who knows the odds
But tries so hard to beat them
God bless the man who knows the rules
And doesn't try to cheat them

God bless the man who feels alone T
he man without a friend
God bless the man who won't give up
And fights until the end

God Bless the man who lives his days
As if they were his last
God bless the man who looks ahead
But doesn't fear his past

God Bless the man who fears no man
and only fears his God
Oh Lord please bless this righteous man
Please bless the underdog

I'm 18 now and it feels the same

So yesterday was the big day. I'm LEGAL now woooo hoooooo!!! It wierd tho yesterday didnt really feel all that magnifigant like I thought it would. I guess thats partly b-cuz I've always seen myself myself as a "man" atleast by my own standards. So for the last 2 years I've already felt 18, but It feels good to have it be official :) And also I got 700$ yesterday for the b-day and now im sittin on a grand :) COOL BEANZ.

So today I totally feel like I bombed my poli sci exam but whatev, I'll just drop that test if it's not atleast a B no worries. Also, there was this guy in music class 2day playin the bag pipes which was AWESOME!!!!!! Big ups to scotland for that one.


So I'm actually at Carmelitos right now and the kids are comin in so I'm outty. But I shall return!!!!! muhahahahaha!


One Love,

Mr. Someday

North Cal Tour Orientation

was f-ing bomb. Pumped to see where I'm going to be living for 2 years

I think.....

It's time to drop another sac of the hot air balloon. We're just to different to be friends.

This was a good week

Man....This week was great.

Tuesday I finally got my LB Blast assignment. It was at the carmelitos housing development (long beach projects). I was a lil hesistant at first but it turned out to be pretty awesome. The other mentors are really nice and the kids are so friendly. They just love to have fun and they're also really smart. I was helping this girl marylin with her homework, she's in the 4th grade and she just made my day. I was so glad I decided to volunteer and I look forward to going back on tues.

Friday was f-ing AMAZING. I went to this leadership conference at the college. When I woke up that morning I really just wanted to stay in bed but something told me I should go so I went. And i learned sooo much. First off I met the head of the scholarship dept and she told me all about the lbcc sholarships and how/when to apply. Then I met a lady from Boys and Girls club and she hooked me up with some volunteer work this summer. And then I went to a workshop about transfer succes where I found out that llbcc has transfer agreements with like 4 different uc's and most of the cal states. And then finally at the mixer at the end of the conf. I met this guy a.j. who went to lbcc and tranfered to usc and majored in finace . He was a black guymaybe about 23 and was totally cool. He was just ur everyday guy, we talked about skoo, accounting hanye west lol. Just a whole buch of stuff. It was so awesome to meet a young black guy who has done what I'm trying to do. It was just an all around great week and I have high high hopes for this one.

One Love,

Mr. Someday

Some people will just never get it.

I guess it all has to do with one's environment. Experts say political socialization begins int he home. So maybe it's because of where I come from that makes me believe the things I do, but all those things aside I'm tired of these people preaching about the plite of the less fortunate. WAKE THE FUCK UP!!! People are hurting out there . And it pisses me off that people are turning up there noses as if they are so privileged. Bitch, Bitch, Bitch. Bottomline FUCK YOU to evryone who doesn't believe in wealth ditribution, FUCK YOU to all those who don't support Obama, and FUCK YOU to all those who don't what I'm saying because I know my first amendments rights. These silver spoon mother fuckers really make me sick. And I feel sorry for them. I feel bad that they've never had to struggle. I feel bad that they've never had to go hungry becuase it gives you a certain strength inside of you that cannot be bought. I can't stand these people not beciase they have money, and not beciase I dont have money. I dislike them becuase they feed power the MASHEEN. Yes SH i'll spell it my way. The are the ones that are the bases of the corrupt corps like AIG they are the ones that chair the board of corrupt school boards (cough, cough) They are the ones that feed into the evil of this world. I dont really give a flying fuck if i'm coming off to strong or even irrational. B-cuz I'm sick off people nitching about Obama , I'm tired of bitching that the only get one steak for dinner insteaxd of 2, and I'm tired most of a; of all the many wonderful people out there that are hurting but will never get help b-cuz there people out there who are consumed with the idea that all poor, minority, people are bums who don;'t deserve a helping hand. FUCK YOU. I HATE YOU PEOPLE. AND YOU ARE THE REASON WHY WE ARE WHERE WE ARE. LOVE ME OR HATE ME. I'M RIGHT.

No Love,

Mr. Someday

I've finally found my swagger

All this time i've thought that swagger was all about money, cars, and girls. And maybe it is to some people. But I'm starting to realize that everybody's swagga is different. 4 me my swagger is my attitude. It's my confidence. Not my confidence with girl though lol. I'm still working on that one. But m,y confidence with my life and my goals. I get shit done, and I don't care if people doubt me. I make goal and I achieve without giving it a second thought. That's my swagger. I always thought I had to get the car and the money and the flashy clothes in order to feel like I got that edge. That coolness. But I understand now that I already have it, and I've had it for a long time. College is teaching me alot about myself. It's forcing me to challenge myself and push the limits. And I like that. I want to know what I'm made of. So I'm going to keep pushing the limits until they push back. Actually, scratch that. I'm going to keep pushing the limits until they push me down and keep me down. Cuz I honestly don't think there is anything I can't do right now. I always knew I was special and that I had the ability to do great things and now I'm starting to see a glimmer of that person I've been waiting to meet. I feel like I'm on the verge of a breakthrough and I'm excited as hell lol.


One Love,

Mr. Someday

3-16

Yesterday was pretty eventful. Dad called Alicia to taake him to the hospital. Nothing really that spectacula. the man always has something wrong with him. He's still there so I guess they're keepin him there for a couple days. But Mom say something this morning that really jumoed out at me. She said this time it's "different". Iask why. And she said all of the times b4 when he's gotten sick, he was angry and pissed off at the world in everyone in it. That's just the way my father is. But this time, he being nice. Which is really fucking strange. He's not a nice guy, he's a fucking asshole. Been that way since I can remember. Idk tho. Everytime I thnk he;s on his way out, he manages to sttcik around. So i'm proabably just thinkin 2much (wouldn't be the first time).

On another note, James stayed over yesterday while Dad and Alicia were at the hostiital. Which was AWESOME. He is so cute. I'm so glad Alicia trusted me enough to leave him with me. Mad me feel good. He was here for a good 4 hours and didn't cry once. He's a great baby. I love him SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much! :)

Today in CW Christina was talking to us about our stories and she made a comment about mine, she said I was one of the stories that had a great "arc" meaning that my story had a good flow from intro to climax to resolutin. This made me feel alot better, cuz when she gave me my story back on weds. the back page was COVERED in suggesttions I felt like it was a total failure. But i she liked it more then it seemed. So now that i don't feel like a total failure as a short-story writer I guess I can start tweaking it this weekend and tae my time since we got lime 4 weeks b4 the next draft is due for the workshop.

OH YEa!! I forgot, I saw that cute that I met at the AGS hamburger sale today. Spat a lil game, and then left b4 I said something stupid lol. I think she's diggin big papa roo. But i gotta put in a lil more work, and see what's she's all about.

TOMORROW IS MY FIRST DAY AT LB BLAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so excited to meet the kids. But at the same time I'm nervous as hell, I hope everything works out well...

So i guess that's it 4 now, gonna post again soon. Let ya know hoe it goes 2morrow afternoon.

One Love,

Mr Someday

P.S. TACO BELL IS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MMMMMMMMMM

Naps Suck Ass!!!!!!

I believed God has blessed me very much, so I have no reason to be jealous of anyone. But I must I am envious of some people. I'm envious of the people that can take naps!!!!!!!!!! Idk why but I just can't do it. Every time I try to take one it totally ruins my night and I can't sleep. Then the next day I'm like a zombie. My mom on the other hand can take several naps in a day, and still sleep like a baby. Grrrrrrrr. That really grinds my gears. Idk why I'm posting this, i guess I just really needed to vent. Im so freaking tired.....................................


One Love,

Mr. Someday

Life is beautiful

So today just seemed like beautiful day. I love the grey days. I had citizen cope bangin in my earbuds all day. And it just felt right. When "Son's Gonna Rise" startin bumpin and then sun actually start to come out It just made me feel reall good. Idk man. I'm just ramblin, I'm half asleep right now. I just had my first nap in like 3 years and I'm like on a sleep high. I feel so damn god right now lol.

My business prof posted our grades today, and I found out that not only do I have an A, but me and somke other dude are tied for the best grade in the class. Man, That just makes me feel good, not cuz I have the A. But that I feel like my hard work is actually payin off. I'm so glad I tested out. I got a lot of shit for doing it, but I knew it was the right thing to do. And now it's paying off.

Yea...so I'm gonna lay down and watch scrubs now. I think I want to take another nap.

Oh yea, I wrote this poem about james today in CW and it was pretty awesome. I think I might tweak and add it to my portfolio.

Closing Thoughts:

So amanda emailed me back today, she got my fax and I'll be placed with a mentee next week, and I'm soooo excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The girl in my CW class is so f'n cute. Man I really gotta figure something out.....


One Love,

Mr. Someday

3-10

Ok, so today was pretty sweet. I went this meeting about ASB. Which was cool. And I got free lunch lol. I talked to the ASB pres about running for office. I think I might try it. I think i'm gonna run for VP first, and then run for pres in the spring. I mean it can't right? I might as well try. Plus something like that would realy stand out on my berkeley app. So I'm guna giv it a go

Today my poli sci told me I shouldn't retake my previous midterm. He said a B is good. And that I still have an A, and there no reason to risk it cuz if I do worse on the retake it count. So I'm just gonna focus hard on midterm #3.

Man I really hope I could get that VP spot, I'm super pumped on it.

Closing Thoughts:

I really hope that wasn't an attempt to insult me (cough, cough). He doesn't want to go down that road. I have a notorious record for cutting peeps off at the drop of a hat.

I hope I get to see that cute girl tomorrow :)

Tacos tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


One Love,

Mr. Someday

King of the Grill

So today was pretty sweet. After buis class I helped out at the AGS burger sell. I GOT TO GRILL!!!! Which was pretty freaqking awesome. I felt like spongebob hahaha. But seriously though it was fun, I got to get to know some of the AGS members which was nice, cuz I can't felt oput of place there for a while. But it's all good now. Stuck a small convo with the girl from my CW class. She's so f'n cute. But girls really aren't high on me priority list right now. It's still good to test the waters tho ;)

At first I was pretty pissed bout losing a hour of sleep due to the time change, but I love that it's 7 right now an it's still light outside that' goin to be important once I start volunteerin and coming home late on the bus.

Today was an overall great day, I got music hw right now so I gotta cut this one short. I'ma really gonna try to post daily tho, I know I keep saying that but I'll get there.

One Love,

Mr. Someday

Puttin In work

Wow just got back from the library. Put in 4 hours. When I woke up this morning I was thinking of just DGAFin this test and have it be the one that gets dropped. but I started thinking to myself "Berkeley is going to be 10x harder then this". So i decided to just give it my all and I actually memorized all of the info so i'm goin in 2morrow pretty confident :)
On another note, I don't want to sound like a total dork or anything. But there is this SUPER cute girl in my creative writing class. I saw here staring at me in class, and I was checkin her out to. But I have no idea how to start a conversation. I gotta figure out an excuse to talk to her, cuz this girl is down right adorable.
I thought I was gonna see a massive beat down in buis class today. I thought cliff was gonna find the guy who stole his wallet and rip him a new one, but the thief didn't show. Guess we'll have to wait until Wednesday.
Nervous for my test 2morrow, Hope I do well. Wish me luck!!!!!!

Closing Thoughts:

I think I might finally be moving on, well atleast making an effort. Today for the first time I got kind of pissed, cuz I realized that she never did reply to my letter which leaves me to believe she doesn't give 2 sh**s about me. So whatever I guess that's just how it goes. All I can do, is do me.

Quote of the Day:

"everything I'm not, made me everything I am " - Kanye West



One Love,

Mr. Someday

Roo v. World

When I started out on this journey, I always knew it would be difficult. But it never dawned on me that i'd feel so alone. I'm trying so hard to be my own man, and to battle the temptations of this world but sometimes I feel like I'm the only one fighting. I feel like I'm the only one who doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't f*** around, do drugs, etc. And It's not like I'm judging anyone cuz is I were to make a list of my closest friends all of them have atleast one of these traits. but I guess sometimes I wish I had someone in my life that could walk with me. Help me feel like I'm not crazy. Idk. I'm not trippin though. I knew from the beginning this wasn't going to be easy. So I'm just gonna have to keep on pushin.
On another note. 6 weeks in and I still have straight A's!!!!!!!!!!! It feels so good to do well. I feel like I'm actually tapping into my potential. But Idk about this poli sci exam on tues. 116 terms is pushin it. I might have to pull a 3 hour study sesh at the library 2morrow Cuz I've been in lag mode all weekend. But it's all good. i got to chill wit P dizzle on fri. which was a needed splash of normalcy. But I probably should have ditched the poetry reading from the start so I could study in the morning and then chilled, cuz this is like overload status right now. Yet, I'm probably overreacting like always. Besides, I get to drop one of the exams at the end of the semester so I got a lil leeway.

Closing Thoughts:

I'm gonna try to start posting a lil bit everyday even if its just a sentence or two

I'm so happy!!!!! my chin is not fully covered in hair, and lip is to. So all I need is the middle part of my face (no man's land) to grow and my goatee will be pimpalicious

Kind of anxious to see if that guy comes back to class tomorrow cuz If he really did still Cliff's wallet he's gonna get a massive BEAT DOWN!!!!!!

Louisiana Fried Chicken is AWESOME

Where am I?

I have no idea where I am, or how I got here. All I know is that I never want to leave this place. I feel like I've been given a second chance at life. And I really am making the most out of it this this time around. I'm still holding straight A's. I'm in the honor's club. I've kept my nose clean. And I got a little bit of cash in my pocket. Everything just feels right. Sometimes people tell me that I'm an Idealist. I have no idea what I am. But whatever it is it's working. And I couldn't be anymore please. I got back to the gym on Monday and I'm pumped. Time to make my outside match my inside. I just thank The Lord for giving me a second chance. Cuz I was pretty f***ed up not to long ago. I was dying on the inside but he saved me and I have no idea why. I guess I'll have to ask him.

But on another note, yesterday was pretty legit. The LB BLAST orientation was cool and I'm excited to meet my mentee. And the concert last night wasn't to shabby. It was an easy 15 pints of E.C. But now I got to finish this damn short story, I got like 12 pages left and it's do Wednesday so I should probably get back to it. But I want to post again later tonight, still got alot on my mind. So until then.....................


One Love,

Mr. Someday

I'm the last of a dying breed.

Sometimes It sucks to be different. To be against the norm. To be the guy without the car, without the girl, without the money, etc. And what makes things worse is that we live in a world that shoves these things in your face. So we are constintley reminded we dont have them. everyday I'm constantly tha't i don't come from money, or that I'm to fat, or that I don't have a car. All sorts of things. But you know what? I really don't guv a shit anymore. I know what I don't have and what I do have. I know what I want and what I don't want. And frankly, I'm glad I don't have all of the things society labels at mandatory, cuz I don;t want to be a product of this world. I'm a fat, broke, college student with dirty white chucks on his feet and a bus pass in his pocket. THAT's ME! That is who I am. And I wouldn't change it for the world, cuz that's what makes me....me!. I am the last of a dying breed. I see things most people can't see. I know things most people don't know. And I do things most people can't do. I don't bullshit I play it straight. some people love me for it, some people don't. I am who I am. Sometimes I feel alone, Sometimes I feel like I'm an excile because I don't smoke weed, or becuase I don' t have a car, or beacuase I dont have girls drooling over me. but you know what, that's ok. I am who I am for a reason. I've been through ordeals that have caused me to see the world differently then most people, and because of this someitmes I see differently some may even say precular. but I think that's fine. I feed off it. The mockers, The haters, The doubters are my fuel. I will rise above them all some day, and when I do i'll do it humbley. Cuz I don't do what I do for recognition, I do what i do for self-satifaction. I know that one day I'll be standing at the top of the mountain.
i know that one day I'll have it all, so for right now I don't mind not having much. I am lucky, because /i have this overwhelming sense of certainty and destiny. It is my comfort. It my strenght. All I can do is do my best. If I give God my all right now, one day he'll give it back to me. So if you want to judge me go ahead. you wanna say im fat go ahead. wanna say I'm broke go ahead. Wanna talk about my transpotation go ahead. Wanna talk my love life go ahead. Say all you wanrt about me cuz I'm a warrior. Ima do me, cuz that's what I do best. I'm a big dude with minimal game and a bus pass. But I love my life :)

2-16 Quote of the Day

Coincidence is God's way of staying anonymous

Broken Glass Slipper

Right now I'm sitting hear staring at the hundreds of disney movies I have collected over the years.
It makes me laugh. I'm sitting here and I see Snow white, Cinderella, Lady and the Tramp etc., all the videos my sister bought. And I start think about my younger years. I start thinking about my former perception of love and relationships. When we are kids we develop this idea that all we have to do is find that special someone and then we can just ride off in the sunset. No one tells us that finding the one if only part of the process. No one tells us that it might now work out. No one tells us that we might mess it up. Or that the timing may be horrible. Or tht you might not be ready. I'm looking for my plate of spaghetti but i dont see it? Where is it? I guess the truth is not as marketable lol. Don't get me wrong I like that kids are filled with these positive views of falling in love, I just wish someone would have told me from the start it was going to be this complicated. I would have better prepared myself. If someone who have told me from the begging that the glass sipper could brake I would have been more careful....But it's ok. I'm not complaining. I know one day it'll all come around, I just wish me and her could have had one chance. One dance. I miss her that's all. I know that's its over now. The Big hand is on 12. Time is up. Bye Bye pumpin carrige, it was nice while it lasted...

One Love,

Mr. Someday

This is me

My name is Daniel
I am 17 years old
My body lives in Compton
My mind lives in Berkeley
I love God with all my heart, and I'm not afraid to say it
As of now, I like my life
I go to Long Beach City College
I love college life
I don't have a Job
I don't have a car
But I got some brains
I have sense of humor
I love to make people laugh
I like to give advice to those who need it
I like having deep conversations and deep thoughts
If I had to, I could live off macaroni & cheese and Tampico
Recces Peanut Butter Cup is thee best candy
Peanut Butter & Chocalate Ice Cream = Orgasmic
I don't get angry much
Living with the Devil reincarnate that is my father, has givin me lots of patience
I love my mom and my sister
I love my friends
I love chillin at Starbucks till the wee hours of the night
I'm in love with a girl that I hsven't seen in months
I'm a people person, but at times i can be an introvert
I love football and basketball
I love video games
I love The Fray and Kanye West
Blogging is my therapy
http://www.rageagainstthemasheen.blogspot.com/
I live life with no regrets, cuz i know it's all in God's plan
I like to party
I love to have a good time wherever I am
I like to go on trips where I don't know my destination
I don't drink
I don't smoke
I don't do drugs
I got nuthin against peeps that do any of the three, but it's just not for me
My brother resides in Kern Valley State Prison
He has a life Sentence
I work very hard not to end up a stereotype
I don't wanna be a statistic
I want to get my MBA from UC Berkeley
I'm a very honest person
I care about people
My best friend is Robert Evans
I have the best sister in the world
My mother is an Angel
I study hard, so that one day I can get the hell outta compton
I tested out of high school for numerous reasons.
I have a messy room
But I always know where everything is
I love to write, and that's why this so long lol
I like indie films
E.T. and Big Daddy ALMOST make me teary
I would like to get married in the Chrystal Cathedral
My first son is gonna be named Elijah
I love kids
I want like 4
I've planned a six month trip around the world, and one day I'm gonna take it
I don't believe in using people unless it's a diar situation
I hate guys that do girls wrong
They F*** things up for us good guys
When it comes to girls, I don't settle for less
I have a baby face
I live everyday like it's my first, not my last
I really hope one day i'll end up with this girl that's always on my mind
I one day she gives me another chance
Other than that I dont fear much else...
I'm a very blessed person
I've been through alot of pain and heartache
But i'll never quit pushin
I know one day I'll reach the top of the mountain
So for now I'm just enjoying the ride

Friendships and relationships are kinda of like the stock market

Watch the Company you keep" If your company is bad your stocks are going to plumit. But if you have a good Company your stock is going to rise. Don't waste time with a bad company. Even if you have a long history. Because at the end of the day It's all about making the most out of your investment. So if you have a bad company in your portfolio..... Sell Sell Sell, cut your losses, and start over. Because It would be a shame if you were to lose everything you've worked so hard for, or even worse lose yourself

Just a thought........

What a week!!!

Ok After must thought, meditation, and frustration I have no choice but to amend my new resolutions.The 9th resolution "Blog at least Once a week" now has en extension clause. "I will blog at least once a week, as long as the powers that be allow me to do so". I wasn't able to post on thurs. because of GOOGLE INC. They wouldn't let me log....and I was uber pissed because I take my resolutions very seriously. It pissed me off dude...but whatever I'm over it, I'm still gonna blog once a week, because in my opinion I didn't break shit.

And also on that note, You no those little things you have to copy into the box, after you've failed to log into an account successfully? These things right here..........................

I SWEAR!!!! EVERY TIME I DO ONE OF THESE THINGS I FEEL LIKE I'M LOOSING A DAY OF MY LIFE.

I must have done at least 30 of these mother fuckerz yesterday. I felt like I was gonna pop a blood vessel. Honestly I would just have someone body hack my acccoount, and take back that one month of my life lol. Naw I kid...I'd hate to get hacked.

So yea, I guess when I reset my password the other day I typed ans retyped the password wrong so that's my I couldn't log in. Fucking technology lol. But it's all good. I'm just glad to be back.


Changing gears, alot of interesting things went down this week. For starters.........................I GOT AN A ON MY POLI SCI EXAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so f-ing happy about that. Like I study non-stop for 3 days and after taking that test I had figured I got a low B. But i got an AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. and Mr. Douglas wrote "Great!" on my test. I feel such a sense of accomplishment. I've been busting my ass for the past 4 weeks, and I was starting to doubt that I was making any progress. But now I have substantial evidence that my efforts are valid. I am just so happy. That the same guy who failed high school courses was able to get an A on his first college exam. Man that makes me smile. I got alot more midterms coming up though, and I still got a long way to go. But this was a much needed boost of confidence. And now I'm ready take on anything that comes my way :)

God is definitiley good to me. Despite all the grief I've caused him, he still manages to find favor w/ me which is pretty boss. And on that subject I had an interesting chat with a fellow on.....(trying to remember the day).............Tuesday! Yea it was interesting. I was sitting at the bus stop by school and the guy (I believe his name was rick) sat next to me, and just randomly asked me out " Have you seen the Million dollar bill?" He handed it to me, it was obviously fake, cause it felt like an index card. He told me there was a million dollar question on the back. Now.....at this point I got kind of worried. I didn't what this guy's deal was. Was he trying to scam me? Is this guy looney or coked out? I was a little skeptical, he was wearing this extremely short grey shorts, an orange palm tree shit (you know..like the "Hawaiian touristy kind", some brown house shoes and navy socks. Yea..picture. The dude was clashin more then Micheal Jackson in an adult bookstore (naw I'm joking I love MJ). But for real, you can see why I was kinda weary, he looked strange. So anyway I flip the bill over, and I see the million dollar question. "If you were to die today, who you go to heaven or hell?" In the back of my head I took a big sigh of relief. The guy was merely trying to witness to me lol. He felt kind of awkward when I told him I was already a christian. I guess my baggy jeans and long black pro club kinda threw him off. But yea, we chatted for about a half an hour about our faith. He asked me if I go to church every Sunday...and of course I lied and said yes (I still feel horrible about it). But I really didn't want him to think to give me a long ass lecture about going to church or him think I was a "lost soul". So I just humored him. But yea, we chatted about allot of stuff. And I just found the whole experience to be interesting. It totally caught me off guard, but it was memorable. Sometimes I forget that I a part of my faith is being a witness.

Oh and one last thing, I wrote this kick-ass mini story. It started out as a little exercise for my creative writing class, where we pick a name out of a phonebook and start writing a little story or description about him. So i got this guy named Tom Solewick. When I first heard the name, I thought of like an office worker. With a cubile. I dont know why It was just an Idea that popped up in my head, So i started writing about this guy as a tax accountant who hates his job, and basically the story is just a rant of all the things he hates. But like...it's kinda funny, and you kinda get realistic sense of who this character is, Once I started I fell in love with the character, and I just couldn't stop writing. I even wrote on the bus. I finished yesterday. So i have been writing while I've been gone lol. I'll type it out tomorrow and post it, because i really like it.

Story of the Day:

I was sooo freaking embarassed the other day, I was coughing allot on monday, so this guys in my CW class gave me a cough drop, and after about 5 mins of sucking on the cough drop. I start to cough again, and a peace of cough drop flies onto the desk of the cute girl sitting me. And I'm like so overwhemlingly shocked. all i can say is "Oh Man". The scene is so funny now that some time has passed, but at the time i was trippin. That girl was really pretty, and I looked like a total goof lol. So yea lesson of the week ALWAYS COVER YOUR MOUTH WHEN YOU TALK

Closing Thoughts:

I must say, even thought I'm still jobless, car less, girl less, and live in the ghetto.......But for now, I'm pretty content with my life, I think everything is moving in the right direction. Just gotta take it one day at a time.

Today....My neighbors switched our trashcans while i wasn't looking!!!!!! They switched my big one with one of their smaller ones. They think I didn't notice cuz they look similar, but later I had to go put something in the trash can and I realized that the trash in their was diff. then the trash I saw in there earlier. Sneaky Fuckers. W/e it's just f-ing trash can. And they do have like 50 people living in their house, so they probably need the 2 extra cubic feet of trach can space lol.


i gotta friend of mine who is really buggin me, and it's about time I let him go. I love hanging wit him, but it's getting to a point where he is causing me more aggravation then happiness. Plus I'm an introvert anyway so I really have no problem cutting people lose (Unless their names is Robert or Kayla). So w/e man I gotta do what I gotta do. Things are pretty sweet for me right now, and I can't have any1 around me that might bring me down......

Steelers won the superbowl!!!...ugh...i guess.....wanted my boy curt to bring another in, but it was a good game.

Hmmmmmm I got another thought, but I'm just gonna make it another post lol

My prayers are with Sarah

Be well you guys...... :)


Much love,

Mr. Someday

Irony in it's true form.

This movie was shot in 1988, about a guy named Preston Tucker. Basically it's about this car designer who wanted to make a revolutionary car with all kinds of cutting-edge features. A rear engine, Disc brakes, etc. (this was in the 1940's). But the big 3 didn't want him to make the car because it was to good. If you like cars I suggest you watch this movie. But even if you don't , just listen to his speech at the end, cuz it had some major truth to it. He was kinda forshadowing the economic crisis, and the plummet of the American car industry..............

Obama-Cons

F*** It

I'm just gonna live my life to the best of my ability,

And do what's best for me.

Anybody who wants to come along for the ride is welcome.

But I'm tired of carrying everyone on my shoulders.

It's time I start thinking about myself for once.

I'll still be there for people like Rob and Paul.

But the people that drag me down are officially cut off.

Ugh......

I wish I could read her mind.

Just so I could be sure, make my 95 percent a 100

Idk man..... I just find it funny, I was just saying to paul the other night, hey man even if the fire has died she still was great a friend and don't want to lose her as a friend.

Then I see something that leaves me to believe she feels the exact same way...

But I mean C'mon there 6 billion people on this earth. How the heck am I supposed to know if she's talkin about me. Deja vu. I've been here before.......

I try to forget about her but it doesn't work, I think it's time to realize that simply isn't an option. She'll always be on my mind. but even with that said. Where do we go from here?

I just want what she want's. If she wants to be friends, we can friends. I just want to be apartof her life, and have her be a part of mine. If that can happen. I'll be happy.

Closing Thoughts:

I wish guys and girls can just be totally open about everything, it would things so much easier

Even on aim she gives me butterflies........


One Love,

Mr. Someday

Light Bulb Moment: Living Like No One Else

Ok so I had this insightful light bulb moment this morning, but I had to get to class so I couldn't post it earlier. There's a little back story to this one, but I promise you there's a good point here.
But If you are pressed for time (I doubt it) You can skip my little anecdote and go straight to the light bulb moment.

Background:

Ok....So my mother is the director (basically a principle) of this child program in Compton. Ran by a company named the YWCA (Young Women Christan Association). So basically this company tht my mom work's for provides different types of services for women (men to i guess, obviously they don't discriminate lol), They provide things like: Child care, Sexual assault counseling, Financial advising things like that. So anywayz they were having this financial management class at the Compton YWCA center a couple of months ago, and me and my mo signed up. I figured even thought I have no money now, eventually when I do get some income I wanna know how t manage especially sense I want to own a business.

So one night this lady who taught the class was talking about budgeting. She was telling us about how it's important to save and that's it's ok to live uncomfortably for a while because in the end it will all pay off. She said sometimes have to "Live like no one else, so that you can live like no one else" So she told use this story about this guy who had just graduated from college. He got a very good job out of college. I believe she said he was making something around eighty thousand dollars a year. But the interesting thing about it was. He decided when he got his job that he wasn't going to get his own place. He was going to stay with his parents so he could save up to buy a house (he lived in Tennessee where the houses are really cheap). He slept in his parents garage for five years. He cut his salary in half and only lived on forty thousand a year. His friends goofed on him all the time because he was in his late twenties and was still living at home with his parents. But after five years of living on a tight budget. He payed for his house in cash. His house was his, not the banks.....his. He owned it and no one could take that from him. Ironically enough he bout his house in 2008, when all of his so called friends were losing their houses (obviously they weren't picking on him anymore lol). But basically the moral of the story is that sometimes you have to live like no else....so that one day you can live like no else. You get it?

Lightbulb Moment:

So today, for some strange reason, I couldn't stop thinking about that quote. "Live like no one else, so that one day you can live like no one else". It accured to me that this statement could be applied to much more than budgeting or money management. It can be applied to the way we live or lives in general. Sometimes we have to go through some of the crap we have to go trough so that one day we can live like no else does. I always used to think of life as a test. I always felt like the Big Guy upstairs was just throwing all these obstacles at me just to see how strong I am, to see what I can handle, to see what I'm made of. But now that I've grown and see things a bit clearer I arrived to the conclusion that my whole life up until this point was not a test. It was a lecture. I was being taught different lessons by each tragedy I experienced. Kind of like some sort of real-life PowerPoint presntation. Each experience was a slide. And each slide had bulletpoints, little tidbits of information that I was suppose to analyze, memorize, and apply to my life. In turn every slide slowly influences my personality and transforms me into the man I am today and the man I'll be tomorrow.

Maybe I was given a Mean-Spirited father to show me the importance of loving my children and treating them with care when I become a dad someday,

Maybe I was born into a poo family so that one day when I do make lots of money I will to appreciate it and give back to those less fortunate to myself

Maybe my brother got sent to prison to show me the importance of staying out of trouble, and doing what's right

Maybe mt father being so sick is supposed to teach me to take better care of my body when I'm young

And Maybe things not working out with me and ***** is supposed to teach me that if I'm ever lucky enough to find someone that special again I should appreciate the more and tell them how I feel while there's still time

There are alot more maybes but for the sake of time I will spare you the rest. But my point is maybe you need take a step back a take a look and the obstacles in your life and see what it is you can learn from it. Try not to focus so much on the emotion you feel about a situation (i.e. the frustration you feel from a failed relationship, the resentment you feel towards an unkind parental figure, the sadness you feel for loved one who has passes, etc.) Instead, try focusing on the situation itself. If you have an ex that pisses you of, figure out what it is that makes you made and learn from it. If you ex is a cheater and is pisses you off, you've learned the importance of finding a guy who's faithful. And maybe next time that trait will be placed higher on you priority list. All I'm saying is, sometimes we get to caught up in how we feel. Our emotions blind us. Sometimes we get so pissed we miss the big picture. They say" what doesn't kill makes you stronger". That's bullshit. It only makes you stronger if you learn from it. I know I'm rambling a bit off topic but I just want to stress this point. We need to realize that sometimes the shit we go trough now is preparing us for the future. Sometimes we need to be beat up bit before we hit paradise. If you've ever played a sport you know that hell week (or any form of condition) is a bitch. But nothing compares to the feeling you get when you're playing in a game and the crowd is cheering. So I just say to you. I understand that you may seem alone, and you may think you will never make it to the other side of the wall, but you will if you learn from your experiences. Right now your are living to things no one else has. You are living like no one else but if you learn from those experiences, grow from those experiences, and apply the lessons you learn in the midst of your turmoil, One day you will live a life that know one else you can live. You will have s great sense of joy that no one else in the world can match. I know sleeping in the garage sucks right now....but just keep thinking about that house ;)

Closing Thought:

The thing I disliked about highschool is that I felt like I was always beoing taught the same thing, But in college I'm learning something new everyday.

There is this old black guy in my english class. He asks a whole lot of questions and it's kind o annoying. But he's funny I like him. He seems like a very nice man.

Me and the european girl had a nice little chat before class started she seems really sweet (I love sweet girls). She says thank you alot which is cute. She say something about her not being french. But I still don't know where the accent is from. All I know is that her voice is soooooo SEXY. I think it's Romanian

Paul is so fucking cool. He is like Mr. Rationality. Everytime I give him a negative comment he returns with a positive rebutal I just can't argue with. The guy is a big help.

Isao Tomita (Google him now!!!!!!!)

I finally built up the courage to hit her up last night (I'm such a woos), It was low key akward. I think my chances with her on a romantic level are gone. I don't blame her, I made alot of bad moves.....But she's always been a good friend tp me so I am glad I got to talk to her.

LOST IS COMING ON IN 12 MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I love you guys, if you need anything just hit me up N3v3ront1lt (aim)

P.s. Excuse the many spelling and grammar errors I have in this post, I'm rushing for LOST and I also gotta make dinner lol




One Love,

Mr. Someday

Now that's service............

I just heard on the news today that Starbucks is giving out a free cup of coffee for everyone that commits to five hours of community service.





Apparently they are trying to get one million community service hours to match the one million that the Starbucks employees have already clocked in. That is truly remarkable. I gotta give them mad props for that one. Because where would be if we weren't willing to help our fellow man? Idk I just felt like I had to give a shout to Starbucks because not only is their product good (Carmel Mocha Frap :]), but their values seem to be in the right place and that really is something worth acknowledging especially for a company as big as Starbucks is.

Go volunteer!!!!!!!!



One Love,

Mr. Someday

The Beginning of a New Era

Big Ups to this man right here.......................................................


Yesterday I experienced one of the proudest moments of my life. I got to witness an African-American Man become President of the United States of America. There is no way for me to describe how I fell. There are just so many thought in my life. I guess all I can say is that yesterday was the first time (I guess we could say the same for election night) I truly felt proud to be an African-American man. Sure we have invented the cotton gin or peanut butter. But all those things felt insignificant to me. I've always done these programs for black history month every year talking about Black inventors, activists, and authoritative figures. But I never truly felt connected to them. They were of my Mothers generation, and my Grandmother's generation. But Barack Obama is someone I feel connected to. He is a part of my life. I feel like I know him, even thought I've never met him. I am proud of who I am, and I am proud of where I've come from. I am looking for the years to come. Not only because of the changes of our country, but because of the changes in myself. Growing up I always knew I could do anything. And the Election of Barack is just more fuel for my fire. I know now that anything is truly possible. And that if I continue to push, continue to fight, continue to chase my dreams I will achieve every single goal I have set in place And so will you. To Barack Obama, Dr. King, and the countless others that toiled and sacrificed to help us get this far I thank you.

May God bless Our world and the righteous leaders than inhabit it


One love,

Mr Someday

I wish.....

I wish everybody could just take a sip of what I'm drinking. Cuz I think life is f***ing good. Despite my, for lack of a better word, "shitty" circumstances. I get blown up on the regular from peeps talking about this and that. About how they are lost. How they are hurt. How they think they can;t go on anymore. How daddy doesn't love me. How "All guys are Dogs". How "life just isn't fair". Well I'll be the first one to agree with that last statement. Life isn't fair. Not only do sometimes get cheated out of the good things in life, but most time we get shitted on. I am an eyewitness to that sad and inconvenient truth. But the thing is, you get from life what you put in. It is exactly like poker. Sometimes you're on a hot streak and you're on top of the world. And other times you want to punch the dealer in the face, key his car, and set the casino on fire. Bottom the line is there is a sun to every moon, a black to every white, a good to every evil. Call me crazy.....but I find a certain comfort in knowing that.

I know the world is fucked up. But I mean Don't you think it would be worse if we all thought life was perfect until one day Fate just decided take a massive shit on our so called "perfect" life? If you ask me i'd rather live in the world of certain imperfection. Because at least in this world I know shit can rain down any minute , at least I have some time to get an umbrella and some air freshener (smile). But in all seriousness, I understand life sucks, and that sometimes people get a fucked hand. But you have to play with what you got. And despite how much you think this isn't true, there really are people on earth that have it worse than you. Sometimes I bitch and moan about how hard my life is, and then I remember about how my brother must feel. Locked up in a cold tiny cell. With absolutely no freedom. Sentenced to three hundred and forty years at Kern valley state prison. I really can't complain. L mean my life sucks sometimes....but at least I get an opportunity to live it. At;east God is kind enough to wake me up in the morning and give me another shot. Be glad you gt another shot. Whatever it is that's weighing down. Just go to sleep. And when you wake up tomorrow, thank God for a second chance, Because there are some people who aren't so fortunate.

Closing thoughts:

My pet peve is when girls say ALL guys are dogs....fuck that...I believe all women should be treated with the utmost respect, and it sucks that alot of guys dont treat girls like they should. But don;t use them to label me. You the world some or most, because to say ALL guys, or even GUYS as a single unit, are dogs, seriously hurts my feelings....

Girl, you really need to grow up. Like I understand you have issues and stuff......but you need to stop trying to find comfort in guys. YOU MAKE ME SO F***ING FRUSTRATED. You don't listen babe. I go on and on and on with you, you say ok ill change, you say ok I'm trying, but it seems like we're always going over the same stuff. I feel bad cuz I'm at a point where i want to call it quits, but it's not my nature to abandon a friends when they need me......GOSH U MAKE ME SOO MAD SOMETIMES

And you my friend, I love hanging out with you and everything...but you have to grow up 2. I don;t mean to be a broken record, but dude wtf. You're being very bossy and controlling and it pisses me off. I don't like being ordered around. You tell my ass to wake up at 7. Fuck that. I'll wake up when I want I don't give a flying fuck if it's your birthday. YOU SAID YOU'RE G0ING TO LEAVE ME AT HOME!!!... no you naive fuck!!!!! Fuck that...I didn't ask you to pick me up. You insisted, I'm an introvert anyway dude. I don;t give a fuck. I'm just fine staying my fat ass at home. Fuck that, kid. Wake up dude. Last Time I checked the earth revolved around the sun...not you. Fuck that. You pull shit like that again and we're going to have some serious problems..because Daniel Allen Rufus doesn't take shit from nobody, no matter how nice I seem. I have absolutely no problem going crazy and makin a scene. Fuck that dude I'm not gonna be disrespected. And also it pisses me off how you bitch and moan about your mom finding your weed and shit in you're room, you bitch aboiut how "If I son;t get in trouble tonight I'n gonna dump that shoit".......then when you get off the hook you act act like you weren't just a whiny lil bitch an hopur qgo. "I think I'm gonna keep it" Wow dude, for someone who is so focused on being a responsible adult, you have ALOT of growing up to do, I may not have a job like you, or a car like you, but I'm a fucking man. And i have no doubt in my mind about that. I wish I could say the same aboiu toyu, but you;re no where near that yet. Grow the fuck up, be a man. Don't let that car and the paycheck fool you, No matter how much I love you man I still see you as a child. And that hurts me to say bcuz I know how much you think otherwise. But thats what i think. You don;t run shit dude, GOD runs it. And if you keep trying to dodge bullets, eventually you'll get shot. And that's what you need. Make you need God to dsmack you in the face and wake you up. But that;s not for me to decided. Anywayz I'll be up at nine on friday. If you don't want to pick me up, then fuck you and have a happy birthday :)

I wish that everyone could just cool down.....

In my opinion the journey is more important then the destination. So stop obsesing on where/when you want to be in life and start focusing on how you're going to get there.

Despite my random spurts of frustration, I love you all. And I will always be there for you guys, my true friends, whether I like it or not :)

I truly and sincerely believe that all of you will be ok, just put your trust in The Big Guy upstairs. Don't try to be the driver when you don't even know where you're supposed to go. Just sit in the passenger seat and enjoy the ride....... ;)

(Going to Post again Tommorrow, Be on the Look out!")



One Love,

Mr. Someday

A New Frontier

Sorry that I have posted in a while. But it wasn't seven days yet so my resolution is still in tact ;). This week has been AMAZING. I started school at LBCC this week. My first day was hectic. The campus was sooooo crowded. It was ridiculous. I gotta kind of down in the middle of that day though because my petition for trigonometry class was denied because the class was full. This made me pretty frustrated. I went to the library to see if I could find a class to fit the time slot but I found nothing. None of the classes on the berkeley transfer list were open. So I went to the counseling office. But the pld red-haired lady at the front desk told me that I couldn't get a full appointment until next Thurs. So I was like omfg what am I going to do. But I remember in orientation they talked about express appointments(only 10 minutes long) So I asked for one of the express appointment. I got this cute young counselor with dark read hair. You told me that I should take something that would be fun and that wouldn't hurt my gpa. So i thought to myself wth can I find everything is closed. But low and behold I found the perfect class for me. Small Business Management and Entrepreneurship. This class is perfect for me. I want to oen my own business some day so I mean I couldn't ask for a better class! I guess God has a way of working these things out.

My business prof is really cool, he's really laid back and has this Grey Mario/Luigi mustache that i just to awesome for words. My creative writing teacher seems pretty cool too. I think creative writing is going be a cool class. I think I made a couple new friends today which is nice. There are also some really cute chicks in my class. Like there is this cute lil short mexican chick that sits next to me in class that is like adorable. But I'm kinda shy around girls I don't know. And this other chick in my class who's a go-go dancer which is of course a very attractive occupation (she kind of looks like ema :]) also there is this chick in my class that has this kind of European accent. It could German or Romanian or something like that idk. All I know is that it is SEXY as hell. But I still think about Kayla everyday. And I don't think that's going to change anytime soon. College is really diverse compared to Valley. Seeing that it is a private school. Like for example there is a lesbian in my creative writing class. Which is totally cool. I also saw a Jewish guy with a yamika on (i think that's what it's called?).I love the diversity on campus. I feel like college is a stronger resemblance of the real world the high school was. The world is filled with all kinds of people of different races, religions, and sexual preferences.

College life is pretty sweet There is a lot more freedom. No one is babying me or annoying me with there opinions of how I live my life. I get to be whoever I want to be. I really think If I put in the work I can get straight A's. I feel like Berkeley is a realistic possibility. Everyday I get closer and closer to fulfilling my academic goals. And with this business class that I just happened to fall into (smile) I'm on my way to fulfilling career goals. Now if only I start on my financial goals I''d be on easy street lol. But yea....all in do time. I'm ok with he way things are for now.

It made me laugh today. Even though it's college there are still immature people just like high school. I was walking to a class today and I saw this really pretty girl in a wheelchair( she was realllllly attractive). And when she passed by these guys that we walking beside me (I was'nt walking with them they were just by me at the time) Starting saying really immature shit. Like "Awww hell ya dude I'd fuck her,I'd fuck the shit out of her, I'd jump of the ropes and superfly splash into that shit." I was like wow lol. That was an interesting anecdote.

I like going to class though. The time goes by really fast and I'm only in class for three hours so it's nice. I love getting home at 1 o' clock. sooooooooo sweet. I've been really tired lately though. I gotta get used to waking of for school again. It's been a while lol. But yea all is good right now. And I intend for it to stay that way. I am so freaking proud of myself. Monday I actually sat at my desk on Monday for two whole hours and did a reading assignment. I READ FOR TWO HOURS!!!! If you know me well you know that is an astounding achievement me for me...Not because I can't read or don;t like reading...but because I NEVER do my homework. I would have never read for two hours at valley, shit I wouldn't even read for half an hour (unless there was a quiz or test). This semester means business. My goal is a 4.0 and acceptance into the honors program. I'm not playing round. It's time to do work.

Closing Thoughts:

There are alot of pretty chicks on campus!!!!!!

I need to get a long beach bus pass

I'm glad I saw Jeff on campus me and him go way back

Idk how I'm going to have a job and do school.......cuz homework is very time consuming (i'm just now figuring that out lol)

I think I'm coming down with a cold...Yikes!!!!

I'm glad I tested out of high school...it was obviously the right move.

My dad heard I'm going to UC Berkeley he said how you gonna pay for it, I said sholarships, he said oh...you hope to get a scholarship? .... I said no... I know I am going to get scholarships. He doesn't belive in me but I don't care. I'm gonna leave this place and never come back ( except to see my mom). Fuck him.

I'm excited to finally get my business plan together...I love my classes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good luck to all of your who are starting school or taking finals



One Love,

Mr. Someday

Frustration, Confusion, Exhuastion.........Love

I was thinking of sending her some flowers and Godiva for her b-day.

Probably pushing it....

Why can't I just let this go?

Why do I have to make things so difficult?


She is probably over me by now and even if she isn't, I can't be with her right now

It's a simple concept...so why is it so hard for me to let go?

My Final Letter

After alot of thought i decided to write my final letter to you. This is a letter that you will probably never read, but If you were standing right here next me this is everything I would say to you. This is my last letter to you. If by any chance your eyes do come across this letter I do not want a reply, I don't even want to know you read it. I just want to write this and move on............

Dear Squeezy Buddy,

I don't really know where to start. I guess I gotta by saying that I lied. I've been lying to my self for a while now. I keep saying that I can't be with you because you deserve better. But you know what? That's bullshit. You deserve me. Because I truly believe that I can love you like know one else. I think I'm the perfect guy for you, and I think you're the perfect girl for me. Bottomline. I truly think we were meant to be together. But the problem is. The timing just doesn't work in my favor.

I have a couple things I want to change about myself before I enter a serious relationship. I want to have a car, I want to have a job, and I want to lose weight. I know these things are superficial, and probably don't matter to you. But they matter to me. And no matter how hard I try to shake it I can't. It's a problem I have, but I until I figure out how to overcome it, I have to humor it. I just want to be a better person is all. I want to be able to take a girl out. And pay for her and pamper her. I want to be as physically appealing to her as I am mentally and spiritually. And if we were to have met one year later I know we would be together. But that's not the case. Unfortunately you have met me at a turning point in my life and even thought it's at a point where I am about to become better. I still have these issues. And I can't be with you, while I am the way I am. Because I know me. I know that if try to have a relationship with you while I am this way it won't be as wonderful at it should be. And to be perfectly honest I would rather let you go now, and meet you again six years down the road with a one percent chance of being with you, then a one hundred percent chance right now. Because you are the most beautiful girl I have ever met inside and out and when I give us a chance I want it to be for real. I want to give us the best chance we can get. Because I think you're the real deal. I don't think this is puppy love or infatuation. This is true love, and I think you are the one, but I'd rather take a chance, and hope I get a second try later down the road, then start something with you now as a damaged man. Because if I am lucky enough to be with you I want it to last forever, and that can't happen with me being the guy I am at this moment.

Maybe one day you will give me a second chance. If you haven't someone else. But even if you do find someone else that's ok as long as you're happy. We've had some great times. I woke up excited for psychology everyday lol. History too (but psych was better). I am blessed to have known you. You have taught me a lot about what to look for in a woman and I thank you for that. Your a great person and I don't want you to ever forget that. You have pushed me to better myself, and you don't even know it lol. I love you and I wish you the best. I hope you can everything you want in life. Oh and by the way Happy Birthday lol. But I just want say how much you mean to me, and that no matter what I'll never forget you and I will always love you. And I hope that you could give us another shot someday down the road.

Forever & Always

Your "Buddy"

Rufi :)

My First Letter

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Letter to my lost love Current mood: empty Category: empty Life To my lost love, I think this letter is much overdue.But I have to finally express my emotions If I can ever hope to grow. I guess I have to start with saying that I am a guy who doesn't believe in regrets, I believe that when you mess up you live with it and you move on, But for some reason I can't just move on. I know that this is the worst possible time to be writing this letter seeing that we have both separated and no longer speak, but i can't move on unless I put everything on the table. You are the most beautiful girl I've ever met. Whenever I talk to you, I get butterflies in my stomach. I know it sounds corny but its the truth. Even though we've known each for like 3 years I still get nervous talking to you. I think that's my heart's way of telling me I still care about you. I messed up alot before. I started stupid fights because I was an idiot. I really liked you, and when I started getting a feeling u didn't like me back I reacted negatively and started a stupid fight that hurt your feelings, and for that I am sorry (and I'm also sorry that i never apologized before). I regret never giving us a chance, but I had/have a lot of issues, and i know that I would have messed up any relationship we would have started. You deserve better than me, you can have any man in the world, and you deserve as such. I miss you alot, and I still care about you alot regardless of the fact that we don't talk much anymore. And if you've moved on, I totally understand. I hope you are happy and with someone who makes you happy. I just wish I was a better man. A man who had everything you deserve: the looks, the car, the money, and the reputation. But that is simply not me. And it will be a while before i become that man. I need to learn to love myself before and make it work with anyone. I hate myself for being this way. because I always wonder what we could have been if I were different. Where would we be if I had followed my heart and not the advice of others......I guess what I'm trying to say is, I hope one day when I have become the man I want to be and the man u deserve, we can try again, maybe one day our paths will cross again. Maybe God will bless me with another chance with you. And even if he doesn't I still don't regret the time we spent together and the things you've tought me. I know alot of things can change over time but I don't care. I have a hope that one day we can be together and that's all i need...hope. I read the letter you wrote over and over again I think to my self "what if", and then I realize that it really doesn't matter anymore. I have to live in the present. I have to make myself a better man and learn to love who I am, so that if I'm lucky enough for you to give me another chance I will not miss out on my opportunity, and i will not push you away again. I love you and I want you. But i still have to make alot of changes in my life. I miss you so much you have no idea, and I think about you more then you will ever know. And i hope that you still think about me too even if its just as a friend. I just wish we could be together because I feel empty without you. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and you probably don't even know it lol. But anyways I just wanted to finally get that off my chest. I just want to say that I love you, and I miss you. You will always be on my mind and in my heart. With the utmost sincerity, The Guy who should have climbed the tree.

I found this quote today on accident.....Destiny?

"You deserve better" is the historical and hysterical line uttered by mothers who can't let go of sons, fathers who can't let go of daughters, lovers who can't let go of lovers. It's the self-justifying excuse used by all kinds of people who can't face the real truth: No one else is good enough for you, because i want you for myself.

This quote = The Truth

If only I could say this to her.......

Everlasting Sigh......

I still keep you photo in wallet.........Its been there so long that the ink from the message on the back has permanently socked into visor....

"Rufi...hey squeezy buddy...I love you....I always will- don't forget that"

Always....

XXXXX

Damn, How could I have been so blind.......

Current Thoughts:

Why am I doing this to myself, I mean say by the off chance she does end up giving me another chance. I am still where I was one year ago. Insecure. I guess the only difference now is that now I know what my problem is. At least now I have something to work with........

Maybe I should go see her?

Maybe I should just let her be?

Maybe I just need to forget.......?

Maybe I need to remember?

Maybe I need to clear my head........so i can figure things out

Is this love?

It's 1 o'clock in the morning on you're on my mind. I'm thinking of you all the time. I can't explain what I'm feeling right now. If you were to tell at this very moment that you will never be with me I wouldn't be sad because you have still done so much for me. But I mean if I'm so ready to let you go (more like have you let me go), then why can't I just make you an after thought. Is this love?

If so...what's the cure because it's driving me crazy. How can I be so calm and so anxious all at the same time. So giddy yet so mature. How can I be so many things at once. Is this love. How can I be so ready to let you leave, but at the same wanting so much to be a better man so than I can someday be with you. Is this love? I can't shake you, no matter how hard I try. Do you think of me as much as I think of you? lol that's a silly question. I'm probably just an after thought to you by now....But why doesn't that make me sad?? Shouldn't that hurt inside? Maybe it's because I know you deserve better. Why do I commit hours to writing letters you will never read? Is that love? I don't know....All I know is that I want you to be happy. And if that means you have to start over than that's what I want for you. You deserve to be happy.

I don't know why I sent you the letter on Christmas? Was that love? I keep telling myself I did it because of the new year approaching but I think it was more than that. I felt like if you did decide to close this chapter you needed a final page. So that;s why I did it. I felt I owed it to you. In terms of the money and the wheels and the look I'm still as bad as I was before (if not worse) but I think I love you...and even thought I don't have alot of money, or a car, or the perfect body. I have alot of love in my heart. I have a lot of kindness and compassion. I think the things that I do have are what drew you to me and I let the things that I don't have drive you away, and that is a mistake that will haunt me for the rest of my life. But I can't change the past I can only shape my future. I love you. And I know why I love you. I love you because you are the single most beautiful person I have ever met. And I am not afraid to tell you that anymore. When you are around I see no one else. There is no one else on this earth but you and I. I see you for the person you are on the inside. I don't care about the outside. I really don't. You are sweet and loving. You love God and you are genuine. I couldn't ask for anyone better.

I just don't know what to do. After all the thinking, thinking, and thinking some more...i guess all I can do is sit back and let things take there course. I think I remember you talking about going to college on the east coast. Maybe that's your reset button. maybe that's your fresh start. And honestly I'm ok with that. Because I still feel like I need to work on getting the material things even thought you probably don't care about that kind of stuff. I still feel like I need to work on it. I'm sorry. I cant help it. It's a big flaw of mine and I know it's bad but i can't shake it. I just have this fear that if I don't get the physical things in life we won't last. I guess that's a pretty dumb way to think. I am trying so hard to work on that. Every Single day.

But no matter what happens. I still love you. And I will always love you. Whether you keep me, toss me, or put me on hold. I have and will always love you..........Because you are greatest thing to ever happen to me.

Mc. Dumbass'

Ok seriously this has got to stop.......... >:(






Recently I found out that the price of the Mcdonalds Double cheesburger a.k.a. the posterboy of cheap fast food, has been increased from one dollar to $1.19. WTF I simply do not understand...like seriously you have to be kidding me....the economy is sucking us dry and can't even leave us with a F****** one dollar double cheeseburger. And to make matters worse!!!! They have the nerve to introduce the Mcdouble for 99cents. Which is apparently that same thing as the double cheeseburger except with one less slice of cheese. ARE YOU BEING SERIOUS. ONE F***** SLICE OF CHEESE. homes are being forclosed, jobs are being lost, factories are being shut down, and they can't give us one f***** piece of cheese. I'm honestly insulted. I would have much rather them kept the double cheese burger at 99cent, taken off the extra slice, and not have told me anything, my dumb ass probably would have never noticed and i could have saved my self a head ache.

And also........WTF is up with Mcdonalds anyway? I mean they are like the mirror image of the American car industry they have tons of "appealing" selections but their quality isn't worth sh**. So now they have to pay for it by either tweaking their prices or losing money. But at the the same time you got In and Out burger (The Japanese Automotive Industry) down the street, with the drive thru line flowing out of the damn parking lot into the street. And the last time I checked their menu selction is about as small any I've ever seen, and they still manage to pay their employees better than any other fast food chain in the country!!!!!


The Bottom Line.....


When it comes to business: Quality beats Quantity everytime
(Don't worry Chrysler, Ford, and GM...you can have that tip for free ;) .......cuz I kno you couldn't afford it if I charged you lol)

But seriously Keep ya headz up yall, things are going to pick up eventually


One Love,

Mr. Someday

Story of the day......

>I'm a lightweight......

If you look up the word black hole in the dictionary you will see a picture of Gianluca's stomach. (I dare you.....go check......im serious.......go check right now.................SEE I TOLD YOU!!!!!)
This morning, he ate a whole breakfast plate with home fries, three eggs, 2 pieces of toast and two fatty bacon strips (he at the breakfast plate while we were sitting in mc donalds). Immediately after this he ordered four big macs. After he had ordered I had went to the bathroom...(I couldn't have been i there for more than five minutes) and when I get back to the table, not only had he already gotten his food...but he was already on his 4th big mac WTF....You mean to tell that in the five minutes I was in the bathroom you managed to.....get your food, eat three big macs, and gulp down half of MY orange juice. And to top it all off after he was done he still wanted some of my toast and my bacon hahahaha lmao.

Moral of the story... Gianluca Sagese is a G, he eats 3 times more food than me everyday and sill manages to be half my size. Mad respect to him and his metabolism lol


One Love,

Mr. Someday

Starting off the New Year

I guess I'd like to start off by saying HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!!!!!! Last night was like a baptism for me. I feel like a totally different person. Like I've climbed out of an emotional hell and am now chillin in limbo waiting for my number to be called. Its really exciting. I now that big things or going to happen for me and I can't wait.....

For the first time this year I wrote all my resolutions down on paper and truly intend to honor every single one. Here they are:

1. Get a job and stay employed

2. Get my licence

3. Get a car

4. End my first semester of college with straight A's

5. Get into the honor's program for the fall

6. XXXXXXXX Personal One Sorry ;o) XXXXXXXXXX

7. Lose 100 Pounds

8. Take piano/singing lessons at some time during the year

9. Blog at least Once a week

10. Accomplish EVERYTHING on this list so that I can look back on the year of 2009 and be proud.........

Some of the things on my list are going to be very easy like getting my license and the blogging, but somethings may prove to be rather difficult like losing the wait and getting the grades. That's ok tho because I've got a positive mindset about this year. I know that there are going to be times where I'm going to feel like a fat ass and that working out is a waste of my time and also know that there are going to be many nights where I am not going to want to right a paper, finish a project, or study for a test But God has shown me the light at the end of the tunnel and it looks pretty damn good to me. So i'm going to do everything in my power to make these resolutions stick even if that means late nights and sore muscles............

Despite all of my apparent joy and happiness (smile), there is one thing I noticed coming into the new year that kinda bugged me. I see all these status messages on myspace and aim about people hoping for a good new year. "I hope things will be better this is the year......", "I hope things go my way in 09......" I really don;t like that attitude. I mean don't get me wrong.....Hope is one of the most powerful things around. Hope can sometimes be the difference between giving up and pressing on. But there has to eventually be a time where one stops hoping and starts knowing. Hoping=Anticipation. Knowing=Expectation. They are two very different things. If you sit back and "hope" that things will be better, you're basically leaving things up to chance. And if you leave things up to chance they will happen by chance. However if you believe in something as a certainty and as a reality, the only person (out of the six billion people that inhabit the earth) that can stop you from getting what you want is.......... YOU. And I like these odds allot better than any odds I would get by leaving things up to chance. So if 2009 is your year of change, think positively and assertively. KNOW that everything will go your way and it will. Don't be afraid to dream big..........

Closing thoughts:

Life is a whole lot more enjoyable when you finally decide to start living it....... (think about it)

Antonio Gates and L.T. need to get there shit together before Saturday or i'll be very disapointed

Blogging is really fun

I got to see my nephew James today and he truly is the light of my life, I want my first chld to be a son

Mc Donalds is really dumb and you'll see why in a sec.......

I freaking love life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

School starts soon and I'm excited. Clean Slate = Fresh Start = New Life

Trojans won the rose bowl.....Big suprise lol



One Love,

Mr Someday